UPDATE

UPDATE....did this train get derailed?

Here goes....the opening of the soul

I have not lost any weight....I have not gained either...just stayed the same since January 23rd.

I am an emotional eater...I know there are 12 step programs for people like me. I have all the material to start a program if I could find others like me.

There is a lot of emotions I feel I have to work out....but....

I have learned:

I can choose how I feel. I can believe what I want to believe. Sometimes people hurt so much in their own lives, they want to drag everyone else down to their level. Sometimes others can not give us what we think we need. We have to fill our own holes in our heart. Most people do the best they can with what they have and will never realize that is enough. I can not change anyone but myself, and that is a chore. I can love people from afar. I LOVE MYSELF THE WAY I AM...and there is always ALWAYS room to improve. I am ok exactly where I am in my life....because I am right where GOD wants me to be!!!

I have not lost any weight...but I have continued training. I am training for a Triathlon in May. along with spit run's heart runs, and anything else I can get myself into before the BIG WALK in September. Yes I have eaten my way though MANY bags of chips, cookies and piles of chocolate. In my self destructive attempts to detail any success I might achieve. Because my heart was broken I went to my old habits and tried to eat enough to kill the pain. The pain is still here and I still feel sad.....even if I know in the deepest part of my soul...this is for the best....It still hurts....and that is OK...it is part of life!!! I will survive....I am strong!!!

pounds....

I have actually lost pounds :) 3.5 to be exact :) slow but steady wins the race RIGHT?

Staying steady

the scale has not budged...but I am glad for that. I have been doing some serious emotional eating the last few days. A family friends son was life flighted out to Anchorage then Seattle with a brain tumor. He is in stable condition but still there are a lot of unanswered questions. I wish I knew why I always go back to my old habits when life goes crazy? I am exercising regularly. I am doing a pilates class 4 days a week swimming when I can fit it in and still looking at the treadmill (we have not become friends yet) So my weight is still 280 which is a bummer for fund raising. I joined a Winter Wellness Program at the club and hope that will inspire me and the scale to KEEP MOVING :) Thanks for all your support and encouragement.

time for me to fly

To say life is boring is so far from my reality. Some times you feel like you are falling and you have no safe place to land, then God reminds you of all the people he has given you and you can gracefully fall knowing you are supported. Yesterday was a shock to my system...but with the help of my friends I recovered....and feel stronger and more confident in my journey. TODAY....I am flying solo....scared but know I will be OK because of the friends I have surrounded myself with.

I am no longer going to San Diego to the 3-day breast cancer walk. I will be going to SEATTLE instead. So the dates have changed and I will be going on September 24 - 26, 2010. I hope you will still support my in my efforts to raise funds for Breast Cancer as well as my goal of losing weight. The only change is the date. I will contact you with my weight loss September 10th so you will have time to donate before the event. THANK YOU for your support and generosity.

God is GOOD!!!

was it a gain?

the scale says 280.4....not even a 1/2 pound No worries....gonna keep doing what I am...numbers will start to move soon....my jeans are....going lower and lower down my butt....gonna have to get some new pants soon :)

1st weigh in

January 23rd 280 pounds. Publishing my weight is kind of a bitter sweet pill. I have been higher so it is not the worst thing, but I had been 50 pounds lower a few years ago. I really want to see these number go down.

January 23. 2010

Today starts the journey to raise money for the 2010 Komen San Diego 3-Day for the Cure. All monies raised by people pledging for the pounds I lose between today and November 15th will be donated to the Susan G. Komen 3day. I need to raise a total of $2300.00 to be elligible to walk.

If you do not wish to pledge for the pounds lost but still want to help me raise money for this event please go to http://www.the3day.org/goto/frankiejane.

You may ask why I am doing such a large walk and why I chose this event. My friend and Team capatin of our walking team "Alaska's Blistering Sole Sisters" mom Jane was diagonsed with breast cancer and until that time I never knew anyone else with breast Cancer. Marlena and her sister Anna were walking in the 3day walk in Arizona that year and the passion and dedication they had for the event was inspiring. I walked in a few smaller walks in Anchorage and the fun and love at these events is intence. Just when I felt like I could not walk a step farther someone with no hair would walk by me and I knew if they could push through I could do it too. Since then I have learned many people I care about have had breast cancer and I learned that not just breast cancer, but Cancer affects all of our lives. If we want to find a cure we all have to do our part. I love to push myself in a lot of ways, but this goal is to physically do something I have never done. I thank my family and friends for their continued support without you I could not make my goals a reality :)